When She Smiles
by bluebirdofhappiness12
Summary: Millicent Bulstrode's summer holiday hasn't exactly been the best. When she returns to Hogwarts with a new outlook and appearance for her 6th year, she soon realizes much has changed. Rated M just to be safe. DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters, I'm just playing in the world JK Rowling has made for them. Please read and review-first time posting. So please be nice!
1. Chapter 1

When She Smiles

Thank you so much for clicking on my story! Okay, so I found this in my files and I wrote this YEARS ago and thought, hey, why not post it? This is my first time posting a story EVER so I hope that you guys like it. Please feel free to review and give me insight! I know it's a little rushed but I hope that when I get more comfortable, it will flow better. DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters-they all belong to JK Rowling! Again thank you so much and rate and review!-bluebird xxx

Chapter One

Sitting on the Hogwarts Express, the train that departs from platform 9 ¾ at Kings Cross Station, Millicent Bulstrode gazed out the window, her eyes harsh and her face to match. It was the start of her 6th year at Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry, and she was not looking forward to it. No, not one bit. Since Professor Umbridge was no longer in any sort of power at Hogwarts (or any sort of power anywhere, for that matter), and there was no longer the Inquisitorial Squad to be part of, Millicent was left with a feeling of emptiness and fear, not to mention weightless. Over the summer she had lost all her weight and was now a low and not-so-threatening 10 stones. Her mother had insisted upon her losing this weight to better her chances of finding a husband, since her mother believed that was all a woman could hope to achieve in this world.

Her mother had been battering her on this very subject since her 4th year, when she had not been asked to accompany anyone to the Yule Ball. Not even Crabbe or Goyle. Not that she wanted to be asked by Crabbe to anything. Millicent shivered at the thought. Crabbe was…well, he was a downright git. He was mean as a snake and as thick as a door. He had nothing what so ever to offer her if they were to date, except maybe a few hurtful words and comments about her weight or her appearance…or at least he use to. Yes, Crabbe was mean and would always be mean, but Goyle on the other hand…A smile tugged at her lips as she thought of him. Gregory Goyle. Those broad shoulders, with those dark chocolate eyes. That goofy grin. He was perfect. He had always been perfect. He was quiet like her, he used his size to also intimidate people, and his size was always something she liked about him…again, she shook the thoughts away. No, he hadn't really paid her much attention since the incident, and she wasn't about to reflect on that. Sighing, she again focused on her current predicament-now without her looming size, which she used to intimidate those around her, how was she supposed to hold any sort of authority over anyone?

After a summer full of a nagging mother and all sorts of magical weight loss treatments, she had slimmed down so much she had to transfigure every piece of clothing in her wardrobe. Millicent wasn't very tall to start with, everyone in her family being short and stout. Except for her mother, of course. Her mother was beautiful and elegant, a dainty little thing. Millicent was her only female child, and her mother intended on having Millicent be as beautiful as herself. Her mother had spent all summer holiday teaching her (against her will, of course) how to do her make up and hair 'just right'. How to smile, how to eat, how to walk, how to function in this society. "How to MATTER and be of any value." Mrs. Bulstrode had once put it. Millicent felt completely absurd the entire time, thus she avoided all her friends letters and invitations. She didn't even attend Pansy's holiday parties, of which she never missed! Pansy was probably her closest friend, and she had sent Millicent many letters full of concern and frustration. Pansy even sent Millicent a Howler, telling her to stop being a little bitch and to write her back. Of course Millicent hadn't, afraid of what her best friend might think of the new her. In fact, no one had seen this new her. She hadn't seen any of her mates since the end of their 5th year, after being jinxed to smithereens by Potterhead and his gang of supposed good-doers. She shook her head at the memory. No, she was never to let anyone do such a thing to her ever again.

Looking out the window at the families hugging their little brats goodbye and sending them away to Hogwarts, Millicent snorted. Her family never saw her off, not even her first year. She could hear the words of her father echo in her ears, the same words he said every time she left their home for Hogwarts-"Do not do any actions that would tarnish the families name." And so she hadn't. She had kept a low profile so far in all her years at Hogwarts. Doing overly well on her OWLS last year, almost beating the infamous mudblood for top of her year. She excelled at Herbology, loving the subject. Plants were beautiful and dangerous, all at the same time. It attracted Millicent, being that plants can't make fun of you…or question your worth…

Her eyes shifted when the train began to move, and Millicent looked up, realizing that no one opted to sit with her in the private compartment that she chose in the Slytherin car. She sighed, scooting along the bench and sliding the door closed. She then re-adjusted her sitting angle, once again turning her attention back to the glass. She caught her reflection, barely recognizing the girl looking back. Her big blue-green eyes looked the same, but the makeup covered, slimmer, baby like face looking back did not feel like hers. Her eye shadow done in a light fashion, black eye liner lining her top eyelids, done with a cat eyed point at either end of her eyes, matching perfectly. Her eyelashes coated in mascara, making them appear long and thick. Her little lips plump, with nothing more than a swipe of lip balm on them. Her thick black hair cascaded in perfect ringlets down to the middle of her back, a pretty bang framing her face. She had gotten this hairstyle down to an art by now, since her hair was naturally curly. _Hermione Granger's isn't the only girl with curly hair…_ she thought to herself, huffing in frustration. Millicent was torn, on her feelings of her new look. On the one hand she DID want to be noticed. She secretly wanted people to look at her…to think she was beautiful…

While shopping in Diagon Alley that past week she had felt peoples eyes on her. As she walked from shop to shop, picking up the things she needed for term, she could feel people staring. When she was being fitted for a new black and emerald green lingerie set (her mothers idea, of course) the male seamstress had stepped back to admire his work. She reflected on that day, the looks he had given her. How his eyes dragged up her body as he sighed a heavy, drawn out breath. "My work is always beautiful, but you.." he paused, his light gray eyes clashing with Millicents bright blue-green, "..but you make my work look like rags compared to your beauty." At this she had felt her lips turn up in a shy smile, breaking their eye contact with a quick flick of her gaze. She had felt good about herself, and she had turned and looked in the mirror at the boutique, not recognizing the pale girl with the hour-glass shape. The girl who filled the bust of the corset, whose curves were unstoppable. She turned herself about, unable to take her eyes off this strange girl who mimicked her body movements. "Not to be rude or disrespectful in anyway, and not to imply what you might think Mrs. Bulstrode," the designer turned from the girl modeling his work and looked to Millicent's mother, his hands clasped together at his mouth, and a sort of aw on tugging at his features "But if you were to look in muggle fashion history, she almost looks one of those 50's vintage girls, the way her body is full yet small. She looks like the ones who were icons in their culture at that time. But better. But so much better." The man searched Mrs. Bulstrode's eyes for disapproval and found none, instead Mrs. Bulstrode squealed in delight. "My daughter is beautiful, and thank you. I do not find offense in your words but revel in their compliments! Millicent!" her mother quickly turned her attention, "Don't you feel beautiful? Don't you now feel like you're worth something now?"

At the time, Millicent had nodded and looked back at the mirror, not letting the hurt from her mothers words shine through on her face. Millicent always felt like she had been worth something, even when she was bigger. She felt strong and unstoppable. Smart and cunning, clever and quick. Since the moment she got her letter from Hogwarts, and heard her fathers throaty chuckle when she had excitedly bounced up and down in their sitting room, she had felt like she was worth something. When the sorting hart sorted her into Slytherin house, and when she and Pansy became friends, when Professor Snape had smirked at her for the first time after she had successfully brewed her first potion in her 1st year, she had felt like she was worth something. But why was it that her mother had put all her value into her appearance? Why did Millicent never feel like her mother was proud of her before her dramatic physical change? Why was it that even when Millicent was doing wonders and amazing things, her mother never valued her? Why when she walked in Diagon Alley last week, and boys whistled at her and called out to her she felt anger? She wasn't just something to look at! She was a power witch! She wanted respect! Troubled and angered by this thought, Millicent tried to dismiss the thoughts from her head altogether. She had to stay focused on her studies this school year, which would have been hard enough to do with this whole He Who Must Not Be Named issue going on.

Shivering she recalled how Pansy had written her concerning Draco, about his change in appearance and actions. Draco's father had been sent to Azkaban after the fight at the Ministry, after he had been discovered as a Death Eater. Since this happened, Draco wasn't the same. "He doesn't even want to shag anymore," Millicent remembers reading, wondering if now, after holiday, if there was still problems going on with those two. Pansy and Draco were destined to be together, since they were pretty much arranged to be wed when they were young and first started to show their magical abilities. In their latter years at Hogwarts, Pansy and Draco had become sexually active with one another, Pansy relaying all the juicy details to Millicent in their shared dorm room. Pansy would always laugh at Millicent's facial expressions, calling her a prude. After Pansy realized her words had caused hurt to Millicent, and she would comment that she would "one day understand what I'm talking about." Pansy wasn't all that mean, despite what people thought of her. Sure, she was rough around the edges and had a tongue like that of a knife, but in this day in age, and in the Slytherin house no less, a girl had to be able to defend herself. Especially against those in all the other houses. But to Millicent, Pansy had always been kinder. Like an older sister, Pansy often took Millicent under her wing, bringing her along on all the little adventures that their friend group got themselves into. Millicent looked up to Pansy, taking her side on every issue and even defending her on more than one occasion during one of Pansy's and Draco's infamous spats.

Pansy was tall and lean, but still feminine in her ways. Her face was beautiful, sleek with high cheek bones, her eyes a darker gray and her hair a dark brown. She could shoot down any man with just a narrowing of her eyes, and if that didn't work she could jinx them into next year. She was dangerous and cunning, ambitious and clever, terribly beautiful, the perfect example of a female Slytherin. Millicent, on the other hand, was not.

Crabbe would always joke that Millicent belonged in Hufflepuff, but only got sorted into Slytherin because her bloodlines. Millicent was smart and quick witted, cunning and clever. She had the drive to get and achieve what she wanted, and she always had. She never paid mind to what Crabbe said, since he didn't posses half the Slytherin traits she did. She was confident in her magical ability, and had no doubt about her gift. But she was sensitive to what people thought about her, she wanted people to respect her, but she didn't want people to think her evil. She didn't have an evil intention in her body. Thus she found it hard to say mean words to others. She would often watch the eyes of those that her friends would verbally assault, and she would see their confidence fade and their hurt rise. She hated it. She kept her size up so that no one would mess with her, so that no one would bother her, the colors on her robe and her sheer mass keeping those around her away. This was her only way of intimidation, and now it was gone. What would her friends think now?

Her 5th year, after joining the Inquisitorial Squad, and it was during this time that she became closer to Goyle. The would usually get placed together on rounds, they would walk side by side down the corridors together, chatting about this and that, sharing laughs and looks. During one of these rounds Goyle had reached out his hand and took hers in his. They often held hands after the first time while on rounds. Just walking through the castle, alone together. He wouldn't dare hold her hand when they were with others, and she wouldn't hold his. She wasn't ready, and maybe he could sense that…or maybe he was embarrassed…Millicent sighed; she couldn't keep her feelings inside anymore. She had it bad for Gregory Goyle, but she couldn't humiliate him or herself with something as idiotic as a fling. She hadn't had any interest in him before they were stuck together on rounds, and when he had began to talk to her she couldn't believe his words. So poetic. Over holiday he had written to her, almost twice a week at some points, asking her if she was all right. He seemed so concerned. He told her he had wished he had been able to do more for her, that he missed her…that he might have feelings for her. Asking her if she was going to come back to school, asking her if their incident had anything to do with her falling out…during this time she learned so much about using no words and still demanding respect and posing as threatening at the same time. She would use her size to loom over others, her mere presence a deterrent of trying to run or fight. It wasn't until she was on the other side of the wand, (Ginny Weasley's to be precise) that she lost most of her confidence. Grinding her teeth Millicent vowed to get the little muggle lover back. No one made Millicent Bulstrode wither in pain and get away with it.,,no one…

"MERLINS BEARD!" Millicent's eyes quickly snapped up, taking in the sight of her group of mates before her. Her face turned beat red. She hadn't heard them; they must have slid the door to the compartment open quietly, probably ready to verbally attack her for taking up an entire car compartment for herself. Pansy's mouth hung open, her eyes wide and shocked. Draco behind her, a tight smile on his face, his eyes roaming over her. Crabbe and Goyle both looked like they had seen a ghost, Goyle swallowing rapidly, Crabbe's hand covering his own mouth. Goyle was the only one who met her eyes. "Gods, Millicent Bulstrode, is that YOU?" Pansy whispered, walking into the compartment with an outstretched hand. "Hi…" she whispered back, confirming it was her. "You've gotta be yanking my wand…" Goyle whispered, everyone turning to him. Goyle hardly ever spoke, and since he did, a second shock passed through the group.

"I thought you died!" Pansy screeched, throwing her arms around Millicent, crushing her in a very un-slytherin like embrace. Millicent felt tiny in Pansy's arms, she was practically smothered. "Nope, still alive." Millicent gasped for air over Pansy's shoulder, she was being held so tight. She noticed that Pansy was thinner than normal, her ribs easily felt even through her thick wool sweater.

"Oh Milly, I thought you hadn't recovered from all those jinx's you took for me at the end of last year, I thought they had hurt you so bad you didn't want to come back! I vowed I would come and rouse you back, but you never answered my owls! I was convinced you had let those bastard Potter worshipers get to you, I was so worried!" Pansy practically sobbed into Millicent's shoulder, very much unlike her. Her emotions frightened Millicent, so she hugged her back. Draco quickly shoved the sliding door closed and locked it, drawing the drapes to keep this moment from being seen, and cast a few silencing charms. The moment suddenly felt…very private.

"No, Pans, I'm sorry, I was…otherwise occupied all summer. I was being tortured in a different way.." Millicent whispered the last part, her eyes darting around to the three men that stood before her, all looking warn down and sickly. Goyle looked thinner than normal, his skin a ghastly white, his facial features aged. They all looked aged. Hadn't just a holiday ago those three looked like boys?

"Well…you look…" started Crabbe, quickly looking away, anywhere accept at Millicent after that. "Thanks" Millicent whispered, using the voice her mother had taught her to use that very summer. Pansy pulled back for their hug to look Millicent up and down, to fully examine her not-so-long lost best friend. "Gods Milly, you look fucking amazing!" She exclaimed, turning to the boys who stood awkwardly in the compartment with them. Pansy flashed them a killer smile, her emotions again swinging from one extreme to the other "Tell her she looks stunning!" Pansy egged, almost like she could sense Millicent's uneasiness, feel her need for acceptance.

"You look…yes, you look stunning" Goyle whispered, unable to tear his eyes from Millicent's.

"You look very nice, yes, she's…it's different…in a good way!" Crabbe's face was almost Gryffindor red.

"You look like a true Slytherin Princess…"Goyle trailed off, now unable to keep his eyes off her. Again, another bout of silence followed that comment. Milly smiled at him, and Goyle returned her with a shy smile of his own. But their secret moment was quickly broken by a throat clearning from Draco Malfoy, as he turned his eyes to meet hers. Anger smoldered behind his sky grey eyes. Anger mixed with some..sick excitement? Something dark? Some sort of…pain. Millicent shrunk back from him. Yes, he had changed, just as Pansy had said. But how? How so quickly?

"Yes, you look very nice Millicent, congrats on the weight loss and on the total transformation from the dog-faced breed you once were into this 'amazing' and 'stunning' person before us." Dracos words bit like Cornish pixies. He mocked the others words of endearment, making them sound disgusting as they fell from his mouth. This was what she was afraid of. She could see Goyle's hands turn to fists at his side, anger cloud his face. She couldn't watch his reaction, she was too ashamed. She lowered her head, showing complete submission to Draco, and Pansy scooted away, letting her take the abuse on her own. That is, after all, what she deserved, right? "That's all very nice," he continued, taking a step towards her. "but that doesn't explain why you've checked out completely. To break our friendships so easily? It was rude of you to worry Pansy and completely bonkers to disappear without a trace. You abandoned the group, the cause, ignore our letters, you leave us to believe that you've checked out of our world and into Mungos? But now we see you've simply changed your appearance. So all this worry over what?" He was standing in front of her now, he put one finger under her chin and made her look him in the eyes as he delivered her punishment. _What cause? What is he talking about?_ Millicent thought. "Why should we continue to be chummy with you at all if something so little as you getting your fat ass made over makes you lose complete respect, you sniveling, worthless cow! You are still the weak and stupid little bitch who tagged along, unwanted in our elite group! You couldn't even write us back, you now have no idea of what's going on, you incompetent, half-blood, ugly-"

"ENOUGH."

The entire group went silent, all heads except one turning to eye Goyle. For a second time in a short while he spoke out of turn. His lower lip quivered but he held his head high. Draco eyes darkened, his grip on Millicent's chin became more aggressive. He moved his hand to grasp her entire jaw in a very dominating manner. He did not release Millicent from his glare, not looking to Goyle as he spit out words for him. "Enough Goyle? Is that what you said?" The tension in the room built. Time passed as they waited for Goyle's reply, Dracos grip on Millicent's face became tighter, his fingers digging into her flesh with his impatience. Goyle opened his mouth to speak, not once, but twice, thinking and looking for the right words. "Malfoy, I-I just think…I just think that we.." Millicent whimpered. "Yes Malfoy, I said enough." Goyle's tone became harsh, almost a barked order. Draco let go of Millicent, pushing her face from his hand and snapped his head to Goyle, moving his body to an almost stalking position. Dracos glare was returned with one of Goyle's own, stopping the blonde's pursuit dead in his tracks. After the immediate anger wore off, and Goyle looked to see that Millicent was alright, concern flooded his face. "Look, she's…Millicent's always been faithful to our group! What happened to her at the end of last year…you've felt the little Weasley-Devils jinx's. They're terrible! And Millicent leapt in front of Pansy, taking most of the…you saw her afterwards! After the blood traitor bitch was done! She was…Draco, she can explain herself…but not now. Not with things how they are. Don't hurt her..she doesn't…don't hurt her anymore." He finished his sentence, eyes flashing from Dracos to Millicents. Draco looked for a while at his friend, his faithful servant and nodded, backing down. Millicent couldn't believe what she had just witnessed. She had fully expected for him to destroy her for the falling out, and over something as stupid as her change in appearance. But for him to back down all because of Goyle's words? Her eyes flicked back and forth between the two of them, in a state of aw. _Draco must not be himself after all, to back down so quickly_. "You're right." Draco quickly stated, turning to leave. "This isn't worth my time. Congrats Milly, now looking at you wont hurt so much." And with that he strode from the compartment, his last words stinging, his final blow. Crabbe followed Draco out of the compartment quickly, not once glancing at Millicent or Pansy, but Goyle lingered. He looked at her, his eyes never leaving hers. She stared back, confusion and fear and pain all portrayed on her face. Goyle gave a quick, halfhearted smile and whispered, "You look great Milly…welcome back." And with that he took his leave, sliding the door gently closed behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

When She Smiles

I thought, hey, why not post what I have. So here is Chapter 2. I will continue writing my story, but would love reviews and feedback! Thank you so much and I hope you like it!  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters-they all belong to JK Rowling.

Chapter 2

Millicent and Pansy sat alone together in the compartment. As soon as Goyle slid the door shut, Pansy turned to her.

"The bloody hell was that?" she practically squeaked.

"Hell if I know…"Millicent fidgeted in her chair. She hadn't see Goyle since the end of last term, since they all left for summer holiday. She had been pretty badly jinxed, and he hadn't been able to lift her off the ground to carry her to the hospital wing…

"Merlin, Milly, he practically challenged Draco for looking at you funny!" Pansy said in a breathless huff. "Pansy..I don't want to talk about it." Milly sighed. Looking up to her friends raised eyebrow she quickly added "Not right now." And with a short sigh, Pansy began filling Millicent in on everything she had missed, and questioned everything Millicent had been up to.

"See! Draco IS barking mad!"

"You look so beautiful! You look like who you were suppose to look like!"

"He wont let me touch him Milly…he wont let me do the things I used to for him.."

"Over holiday, at first he seemed fine but then….oh Mills, how I wish you would've been there!"

"You're hair is amazing, how did you lose so much weight so fast?"

"Goyle was awestruck! He wants you, it's obvious!"

Pansy talked at Millicent for over an hour, Millicent nodding and agreeing and speaking only when answering a question. But it almost seemed like there was something Pansy wanted to say to her, but every time she would start her mouth would snap shut. Finally, the conversation turned to Millicent. "It really is you in there, in that tiny little beautiful body, isn't it Mills?" Pansy asked in a low voice, her eyes brimming with tears. "My best friend, it's really you?" Millicent nodded, not knowing what to say. _Of course it's me! How could something so little as an appearance change completely throw everything else off?_

Millicent forced the shy smile to her lips as she responded to Pansy, telling her everything about her summer. Telling her how she wanted to write back but was afraid of upsetting the balance with the new…her. "I just didn't want you guys to think…different of me." She ended, not making eye contact with her best friend. "MILLICENT!" Pansy exclaimed. "Millicent, we-I-you know that's not true! This is an improvement!" she gushed. "It is?" Millicent looked up through her lashes at Pansy, confused. "Millicent, this is..its grand! I can take you out now! Not like I couldn't or didn't before…it's just now, well, shite look at you! We can get you a man! Goyle! Oh Milly, you have so much in store, now you have so much going for you!" Pansy was excited for her friend, but Millicent felt double meaning in her words. "I'm excited too." Millicent responded, plastering her face with the shy smile her mother taught her. Pansy saw through it but didn't comment, not wanting to bring on some huge confession shesh so close to Hogwarts. "Let's get in our robes, we are getting close now." Pansy commented, getting up to leave the compartment to retrieve hers. "Millicent, this isn't a bad thing," she said at the door, right before leaving. "this is a good thing! I'm so glad to have you back!"

Millicent dressed in her robes, noting how small they looked before she put them on, and not being able to believe that they fit her. She felt she could never get use to that. After getting dressed she collected her small carry on bags and made her way to the common area of the Slytherin car, where she knew everyone would be. This would be the first time the rest of the house saw her, and she was nervous. She crossed into the room and it went silent. All eyes were on her. She gave a small shy smile, meeting everyone's eyes in the room like her mother taught her before walking and taking her place at Pansy's side.

"BLOODY HELL."

And like that the gossip began. Girls came up to her, saying how beautiful she looked and commending her on her change. Boys whistled and smiled at her, probably trying to make up for all the foul things they had said to her in the past. Millicent was gracious in her words of thanks to those around her, in true Slytherin form. She was not prideful like a Gryffindor, but took all their words of praise like she deserved them-as if she already knew.

Soon they all broke off, the shock still there, but they were getting close to Hogwarts. Pansy went to sit on Dracos lap, curling into him like a cat. He didn't seem displeased, but it was almost like he didn't completely enjoy it either. Millicent observed this for only a second; before she felt herself being pulled down into someone's lap herself. "Here we go, you can seat yourself here if you fancy that." Millicent turned to see Crabbe's big ugly face smiling at her. With a grunt she pushed herself off him. "Go boil your head." She scoffed at him and went to resume her place, standing next to Pansy and Draco. But something made her stop. She felt eyes on her, and not just anyone's eyes. HIS eyes. Turning in this feelings direction, she found Goyle, sitting in the chair across from Draco, staring at her. When she met his gaze he again smiled his little smile, his face blushing, and patted his thigh. Was he seriously insinuating that she go and sit on HIS lap? Shooting a quick glance to Pansy, who smiled and nodded, and with a wink from Draco, Millicent crossed the close space and turned her back to Goyle, and went to sit on his lap. Goyle placed his hands on Millicents hips and gently guided her down...the movement felt almost sexual to her, the care he used to guide her. She had never had such an experience before and quickly she began to worry her weight would crush him or cause him pain. But to her pleasant surprise he was able to lift and adjust her to his will, having her sit on his lap so that she was facing to his right, with her legs dangling over the other side of the chair. She smiled at him as he wrapped his arms around her waist in a very possessive grasp. Crabbe grunted and turned his attention to Draco and the approaching Blaise Zabini, obviously irked that she rejected him. They all sat for a while, a group of them gathered closely together and listening to Draco go on and on about various subjects that were pressing over holiday. Millicent was very comfortable, having settled quite nicely into Goyles lap. She felt dainty and small, and she was perfectly okay with that in the moment. She felt his mouth move towards her ear, and his warm breath fall on her neck. "I just wanted to say," he whispered, his words quiet enough to not interrupt Dracos current ramblings and to not draw attention of anyone else in the room. If anyone did happen to notice this, they would look away, giving the two their privacy. "I just wanted to say that you truly do look…beautiful." The last word was airy, as if he couldn't find a good enough word to describe her. She turned her head to look into his eyes. His dark brown eyes clashed with her, and she smiled her sweet smile. Yet this time, it wasn't the one her mother had taught her. It was all her own. "Thank you." She whispered, just as breathlessly as he had. They shared their moment together before both turned their attention back to Draco. At some point, Goyle slipped his hand into hers, just as they had the year before. Only this time, it was in front of everyone. Millicent didn't know how it happened so quickly, but Pansy was right. Goyle was making it known that he was her man now, publicly. And she felt, for the first time, that this new her might just be a good thing after all.

She must have been too caught up in her own thoughts, in the feeling of Goyle tracing her fingers with his own, to notice the sudden and abrupt change in the atmosphere of the small group. But it became all too clear that the boy's (whose lap Millicent was sitting on) attention was being demanded elsewhere. Draco had stopped talking, the group a quiet hush. Millicent looked around, meeting everyones eyes. They were waiting…for her to leave. Goyle moved his leg underneath her, helping her slide off his lap. "Mills," Goyle said, fishing out a few gallons from his pocket and handing them to her. "would you be a dear and go fetch me a sweet from the trolley?" He flashed a too wide smile at her. She saw worry in his eyes. "Uh, yes, sure Goyle.." Millicent trailed off, holding out her hand to take the coins from Goyle. She knew the trolley was probably up towards the first year's car by now, being this close to Hogwarts...so she would have to hurry. Placing the coins in her hands, Goyle pulled her close, whispering to her again. "Now try to get me something as sweet as you are Kitty. And take your time." Goyle winked at her. Millicent blushed at the nickname he had used, hurrying along towards the car door. She knew he was just trying to comfort her but she couldn't help but wonder…Millicent hurried to the front of the car and opened the door. Passing through the small space between cars she felt almost a breeze…someone else passing through? No, that would be impossible, she didn't see anyone. Yet she could have sworn… _Nevermind_ Millicent thought to herself and hurried along to catch the trolley before it was too late.

Pushing up through the waves of people, Millicent quickly passed through the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw cars, noticing but not taking to heart the looks that they all gave her. She paid them no mind, trying to move a quickly as possible while ignoring the howls and whistles from males. She had more pressing issues on her mind. Why hadn't her friends wanted her there? What were they talking about that she couldn't be in included in? Had she really missed THAT much while on holiday? So much was going through her mind she didn't recognize that she was coming up to the Gryffindor car, and upon sliding open the door between the cars she ran right into Neville Longbottom, who just so happened to be holding a stack of various Herbology volumes. She was knocked to the floor, Neville stumbling backwards. The books were knocked out of his hands and came crashing down onto Millicent, one directly on her nose. She heard the crunch and felt the warm blood run down around her face before she felt any sort of pain. "Bloody Hell!" She heard him exclaim, and she reached up for her face, whimpering in pain. "Blimey! I didn't see you there! Are you alright?" Neville crouched down, assessing the damage to Millicent's face while trying to figure out exactly whom it was that he had hurt. Tears came quick to Millicent's eyes, making her sight blurry. "Millicent Bulstrode?" Longbottom exclaimed, surprise blatant on his face. Her eyesight may have been blurry, but she hadn't missed that change in facial features. "Get off me Longbottom!" Millicent huffed angrily, pushing him out of her face. She tried standing but quickly realized just how heavy those books had been, causing bruising to her body. _Gods, when did I get so fragile?_ Millicent thought to herself, feeling bruises already forming on her ribs and legs. Trying to stand and push past Longbottom, trying to get into the next car, Millicent felt her knees give slightly beneath her upon standing. _Shite, I'm going to miss the trolley..._ Neville caught her just before she hit the floor, holding her up in his arms. "You oaf.." Millicent huffed the insult at Neville.

"Millicent, I'm so sorry, what can I.." Neville stuttered, shock still on his features. Other students began to gather around, all looking at the odd pair. _Great, here come the rumors_ she thought.

"Get me to a mirror." Millicent growled, frustrated that this quick little trip was turning into a nightmare, all because of her decreased size. If only she had kept in touch, if only her friends still trusted her...

"Why?" Neville asked, dumbstruck. No wonder the kid was obsessed with plants, they must be all he knew. "I need to fix my nose Longbottom, or didn't you notice the blood?" She tried to push him forward, trying to make her way towards the Slytherin car. "Right, this way." Instead, Neville pulled her back towards the Gryffindor car, pulling her up into his arms so he could carry her with ease. _Goddamn this size_

Millicent thanked gods that the loos were towards the backs of the train cars, but she knew a few students saw him carrying her. A few more then she'd like. Neville quickly carried her inside, placing her gently on the seat and closing the door behind them. "Gods, Millicent Bulstrode, look at you! I didn't even recognize you!" Neville coughed out these words, while Millicent pulled her wand out.

"What are you doing?" Neville asked, eyeing her wand nervously.

"Fixing my bloody nose. If I wanted to jinx you Longbottom I already would've. And don't think I've forgotten last year." She hissed, her nose and body aching. "Help me up to the mirror, I need to fix this." Millicent tried to stand up, but couldn't. Why had those books been so heavy? Why had he had all of them? Here, on the train? He did as she asked, lifting her up so she could see herself in the mirror. She had only performed magic on herself a few times before, mainly make-up spells and such. This might be a little more challenging…

"You sure you don't want me to do it?" Nevilles voice shook. He was nervous. His lack of confidence in her was offensive.

"Yeah, I got it." Millicent took in a deep breath…"Episkey."

Again, she felt the crunch, but the pain followed immediately this time. "JESUS CHRIST." She barked out the muggle-religious curse, the one she had heard her great grandfather use a few times. The blood stopped and her nose was back in its place. Dark purple bruises immediately formed under both of her eyes. "Gods," her head was spinning, and she could feel the pressure in her head, the pain of her bones setting now getting to her. Black spots appeared in her vision. "Merlin, Millicent I told you I would do it!" Her body slumped against Neville, her head falling into his chest. "Go…please…just go get…get Goyle…" Millicent whimpered out, her eyes fluttering, tears brimming again. Her head was throbbing; she just wanted to be back with her friends. Back with Goyle. The pain to be gone.

As if the gods had sent him himself, the lavatory door slammed open violently. "What the fuck is this?" anger and concern laced his voice. "Goyle," Millicent whispered. She reached out towards him. He snatched her from Neville, pulling her to him with a quick motion. Her head cradled into his chest, her body feeling tingly. She felt safe in his arms, the black spots in her vision becoming bigger. "Kitty, wha-what happened? What is with the blood?" Goyle quickly looked her over, his eyes wide with fear. "Pain…help" Millicent croaked, her head feeling as if it were going to explode. Goyle pulled his wand and touched the side of Millicents head, muttering some sort of pain-be-gone charm. Suddenly, the pressure she felt in her head deflate. "Better" she whispered.

"The fuck did you do to her, Longbottom?" Goyle barked. Millicent flinched. His voice was so loud, yet it seemed so far away now... "No-Nothing! I mean, I accidently, I-we bumped into one another! I dropped books! They were big Herbology volumes! I'm so sorry!" Neville stuttered, trying to form words. "You shifty bloat! What were you doing in there with Milly?" Goyle glared at Neville, seeing the Weasleys and one Miss Granger come out of their compartments and appear behind Neville, confusion plain on their faces. "I swear, if you touched her, you pig, I'll carve your face up, you-"

"Shhh,"

His body stiffened as he felt the girl in his arms start to go slack. Goyle looked down into Millicents eyes, her pupils wide and eyes glazed over. Tears were streaming down her face, yet she seemed content. In another world almost. His pain-be-gone charm must have worked. He then noted the giant, dark purple circles under each of her eyes. Bruises. "What happened to her?" His eyes flicked to Neville, as he forced out the words between his teeth. "Goyle, please don't yell." Millicent cooed, stroking his face with the back of her hand. Her head felt all funny, the pain slowly making way for a new, fuzzier feeling. Goyle's eyes returned to hers, his features softening to concern. "I'm going to see to it that we are the first off this bloody train and the first to Hogwarts, and that we get you to the Hospital Wing." He whispered, the promise of protection enough for her. She was simply loving the speed at which this relationship was going. They were already together officially it seemed. Those notes he had sent her in their months apart must have been honest, the words of endearment even true for her before her transformation. He was her knight in shining armor after all. He came looking for her, didn't he? Goyle looked up from her face to shoot one last glare at Neville. "You." He hissed, his tone harsh. "I'm not finished with you. You'll pay for this. Mark my words." And with that Goyle lifted Millicent into his arms and stormed off towards the Slytherin car. That was the second time today she was carried, and she very much enjoyed the latter much more than the first.

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Okay so I changed it a little. I condensed chapters 2&3 into one chapter. I hope that makes it a little easier…or makes you a little more likely to read both haha. Thank you guys so much and please rate and give me your feed back!


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